The heart of the matter

The other day, I was going through one of those "woe is me" moments.  You know, where nothing in life is quite like you want it (which is not dramatic in any way whatsoever!) and you feel like no one understands you.  My tendency in those moments is to wallow in them. Because I "deserve" to feel this way and feed the gruesome reality.  But I chose grace instead.  I try so hard to do this all the time, but I don't succeed very often.  I want to do something mundane to try and eradicate the feelings (which never works, by the way)--watch TV, play mindless computer games, read, etc.  But this particular day, I pulled out my Bible because I know that is where attitude and feelings are going to meet TRUTH and be changed for good.  I opened up to Psalm 33 and when I got through reading it, I smiled at God because He knows me so well.  When I wallow, I fall right into the trap of Jeremiah 17:9, which says that "the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?"  I can't trust the things in my heart, because they always have a bent toward sin.  I have known this truth for a long time and it was no surprise to be reminded on this particular day.  But in Psalm 33, I found a truth that, although I've read before, never had a profound impact on me.  Verse 11 says, "The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations."  The Lord's heart is not desperately wicked and deceptive.  The Lord's heart is faithful, true, loving, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, steadfast, merciful, etc.  I can trust the plans of the Lord's heart.  I cannot trust the plans of my own heart.  My own heart is wishy-washy and selfish.  It follows the whims of this world far to easily.  The Lord's heart is forever faithful.  Strong.  A rock.  A refuge.  Always.  Always.  Always.  Forever and ever.  Without end.

And at the end of the day, I was content in the Lord.  Praise Him for His patience with my moods and emotions!  And that He will lead me back to His Word time and time again!