Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Big SIGH because of one of "those" days

I can't count the times that I breathed in and out a BIG SIGH today. It's been one of those days. Frankly, I think they happen far too often in my life, but I'm trying to get my head on straight. Luckily I have a way to do that. Really the big sigh day started last night. And because I didn't have my head on straight, I was up for awhile trying to fall asleep. Oddly enough, I finally decided to start reciting some Scripture that I'm memorizing. I believe I got through "Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God and..." before I fell asleep. I did wake up with a knot in my stomach that caused the sighs throughout the day. I hate having a mind that likes to dwell and dwell and dwell on things. Anyway, back to the solution for getting my head on straight. I have just begun to memorize a large passage of Scripture. It has helped me to focus my mind and energy on Someone who is not going to let me down. I have also spent more time in the past couple of days praying than I have in a long time. I know that I know that if I keep my focus on God, He will sustain me through my melancholy days. And yet, He is not the first thing I turn to when I have these days. And let me tell you, THAT IS FRUSTRATING to me. I'm also in a Bible study where we are studying the book of Esther. Today I got to study probably the most well known passage in the book. Esther was chosen as queen and placed in the palace in Persia for "such a time as this." That time was to save her people, the Jews, from complete annihilation. Now, I don't presume to think that God has me in the place I am in order to save an entire people group, but I am convinced that God takes great value in my obedience in service to Him and He has a purpose for my life. Did I live out that purpose today, even amidst some very self-focused moments. I think at least partly. I know that I know that God will see me through this day. He doesn't promise all rainbow days with only sunshine, but He promises to get me through the rainy, stormy days so that I can appreciate the rainbow on the other side! What a mighty God we serve.

Thank you Lord for considering me for such a time as this. Help me to live each day in complete surrender and obedience to You so that I may impact those around me for Christ and may live a life worthy of the Lord, making every effort to please You in every way. Amen.

1 comment:

Hols said...

What a beautiful way to look at things. I don't even think I can begin to phrase what I'm thinking in my head so I won't try. Bottom line...thank you for sharing. I needed to hear that during "such a time as this". I'm going to go pick a passage to start working on.