Tuesday, February 11, 2014

If only I were an Olympic commentator

Really, I want to be the Olympian answering the questions.  Making up my own commentary is by far my favorite part of the Olympics.

The following is what I would answer:
Commentator: How does that run rank in your skiing career?
New gold medalist: Hmmm...probably number 12.

Commentator: What were you thinking when you realized you had won the gold?
Olympian: I was really wishing that I had won bronze, but I guess I'll take the gold.

Commentator: Did you feel the pressure while you were out there?
Olympian: Pressure?  No, I just pictured everyone naked.
Olympian: Why would I feel pressure?  It's not like this is the biggest moment of my life.  For me, it was just another run.  No biggie.

Commentator:  How did that feel when you fell?
Olympian: I was thinking, "Phew.  At least all the pressure is off."
Olympian: I really wanted to curl up into a ball and never get up again.  But then, you know, reality hit and I knew I would have to talk to you about this, so I pretended that it was no big deal and just kept going.

Commentator: What happened out there?
Olympian: Well, I got distracted when I saw a bunny run in the woods next to the course.  And I thought, wouldn't it be cool to be that bunny?  And then I ended up in the woods." [sheepish grin]
Olympian: I really decided I wanted someone else to win today, so I tried my hardest to throw the competition.

Commentators as the skaters skate: It is their dream come true to be out there today.
Me: Everyone else, just another day.  Olympics?  No big deal.

Send me your commentator questions, I'll give you the real answer the Olympians want to give.

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