For your laughing pleasure? AKA Emily to the rescue!

I really have no earthly idea what to title this blog. Or why I am even writing it. Or how to even tell the story. The best way to tell a story is to start at the beginning. WAAAAYYYY at the beginning.

I have a coat. That I really like. I haven't had this coat for very long, just a couple of years. Well, at the end of last season, the zipper started to get stuck a little bit. No big deal, it always comes unstuck. I've made jokes about the day that I would actually get stuck in this coat. Well, folks, today was that day. I was innocently talking to Danell on the phone (it might be interesting to get her version of this story) when I got home and walked into the apartment where I immediately went to take off my coat because I was hot. Only my zipper was stuck. No big deal though, because normally I just zip it up a little more and tug a little harder and it comes undone. Ummm...not so much. So I told Danell I think I might be stuck in my coat and asked her to hold on while I set the phone down to concentrate on tugging a little harder. No such luck. So I picked up the phone to tell her my lack of progress. Was she concerned? I'm not sure because she was laughing an awful lot. I told her to hold on again, I was going to try to pull the coat off over my head because at this point I was getting VERY HOT (which is what I always thought I would do on the day that I actually got stuck in the coat--pull it over my head, that is. I never really anticipated how hot I would get.). Ummm...again no such luck. But at this point I also could not get the coat back on the way it is supposed to go, you know, with my arms in the arm holes. After discussing how this would definitely make a good blog, I told her I should probably go so I could concentrate a little better without hearing her laugh at me.
Here I am stuck.

And here's a close up. At this point I'm still thinking this is pretty funny.

I googled how to get a zipper unstuck. Did you know lead (graphite pencil) acts as a lubricant? Now you know. Only it didn't work on my zipper. Neither did chapstick. At this point, I'm starting to panic a little bit and feel a little bit claustrophobic. See picture below.

And I was actually feeling even more claustrophobic because I had tried the zip-it-up-higher method and managed to get the zipper stuck at it's highest point. I had also tried to call my roommate to see when she was coming home. She didn't answer. And I was formulating a diplomatic way to explain to her that she needed to come home because I was stuck in my coat. Good luck with that one.

So, then I got my arms back in the coat and immediately started getting hot again, but still couldn't tug the darn thing down. So I decided to see if I could pull it loose from the top. Here is the result:

Nice cape, I know. But still very much stuck. And still a little claustrophobic around my neck. But much cooler everywhere else.

Here's a close-up. Are you feeling sorry for me yet? Did I mention I have a miserable cold and really just wanted to crawl into bed when I got home? Just thought I'd throw that in. So, I again tried to call my roommate. No answer. So I decided to text her, but how do you word that text? Here is what I said: "I really could use your help at home if you could get home soon. Not quite an emergency. Okay I'll just say it. I'm stuck in my coat." The funniest part about that might be that if I hadn't edited it, the text would have said "I'm stuck in my boat." I was just about to hit send when she called me back. So I told her that I needed some help at home. She was just leaving the church parking lot. As soon as she walked in the door I said, "Emily. I'm stuck in my coat." She laughed. A lot. So much that I couldn't tell her the story about how I got stuck in my coat. After I let her laugh it out, she saved me. She got the coat unstuck. And I was FREE!

Okay, now that you're done laughing at me...

Oh, you're not done yet? In that case, I'll just leave you with your laughter.