Friday, April 10, 2009

A Letter to the Lord

I often struggle with how personal to be on this blog. After all, there are a wide variety of people who read it, some people who read it who I may never have met, and some people who read it but never make themselves known. A unique opportunity and a unique way to share my heart. And still, so often I hesitate. It's easier to share the light-hearted stories, the quirky things about my day, and for the most part I am okay with that. Not that there is anything major going on, but today I decided to go the more personal route.

I just started a new Bible study and one of the first things I was asked to do was to write a letter to the Lord as if He had asked me, "Teresa, what do you want?" It was an opportunity to be completely real before the Lord, to share my deepest longings and desires. I won't share the details of the letter because it is meant to be between me and Him, but I will say, I still struggle with some of the things I put into the letter. I struggle with the pull of wanting Christ to be my greatest desire, but also wanting the selfish things of the heart (granted, the good selfish things, not the bad selfish things!). I want to want Christ to be my greatest desire, and I think some of the time He is, but then life crowds in and I want other things too. Anyway, the letter, which turned out to be three pages, is sealed at the back of the Bible study book. The goal is to learn through this study how to be completely real with God, how to grow to be His beloved disciple, and how to speak the truths of those desires to Him because He truly wants to know. At the end of the journey through the study, I will get to open my letter and read what I wrote.

My desire through this study is to KNOW HIM MORE! To learn not to fake my relationship with Him, but to be real and transparent, especially because He knows my heart anyway! To desire and long for Him, for His saving power for those who don't believe, and for His return! Will you pray for me, for my journey through this study, and for my desires to be in line with His desires for me? Thanks so much! And feel free to ask me how my journey is going. I would love to share with you!

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