The Art of Spectating

For those of you who don't know, I am an avid spectator of most sports, and a player of few. This confuses most people and frustrates others. For me it is mostly entertaining to see how people will decide to convince me to play (pleading, whining, begging, coercing, bargaining, threatening, and forcing me onto the field are all methods that have been tried). However, I am stubborn in very random things. Once I decide I am not going to play a sport, little can be done to convince me. And yet I watch (which is the most confusing thing to people). I mainly watch because I genuinely enjoy it. Watching a sport is as fun for me as those who are playing have fun playing that sport. But through the years there has been much confusion about what it means to spectate a sport. Today I am here to clear up that confusion. Things that are allowed as a spectator: occasional cheering; keeping track of people's cell phones, keys, and water; providing company for those who have to sit out of the game for injuries (a whole other reason I don't play sports, but not the topic for today's post); providing encouragement; talking on your cell phone to people who are not at the game (i.e. you don't really have to pay attention to the game you are spectating) but if you do this, the only polite thing is to get off the phone during water breaks. Things that are not involved in spectating: a spectator is NOT a cheerleader (you will never see me with pom-poms); a spectator does not chase after the ball/frisbee if it goes out of the field of play (if I wanted to chase the ball, I would be playing the sport!); a spectator never fills in, even if the teams have uneven numbers. For amateur spectators who might feel tempted to cave in to coercion, it helps to wear clothes to the game that you can't possibly play in (stay in church clothes, wear a skirt, wear flip flops when sneakers would be better) or purposely plan something for after the game that you have to look nice for and make sure you don't have time to go home and change. For die hard spectators, it irritates people even more when you show up in clothes that you could totally play the sport in, but then you still refuse to play (not that I would ever do this or condone purposefully irritating people, I'm just trying to explain all the rules). And last but not least, those of you who play and would never consider spectating, just think...isn't it more fun to have someone watching you play? What would pro sports be without the fans (who are essentially spectators gone wild)? As a spectator, I am basically complimenting your playing skills because I am saying that you are good enough to be watched. So really, I am selflessly serving others by being a spectator!